21 Last-Minute Bold Predictions

1. Jimmy Clausen throws for 3,500 yards, 33 TDs, and 9 INTs.
2. Mike Floyd has a better year than Golden Tate.
3. Jonas Gray will finish with the most carries this season of any of our backs.
4. Weis stays off the disabled list and drop-foots it to the sidelines for the entire year.
5. When we’re 7-2 in November, in a fit of euphoria, T and Alex name their daughter Charlie Wise.
6. Kyle Rudolph is a finalist for the Mackey Award (best TE).
7. Our freshman kicker Nick Tausch can’t handle the pressure… here comes Wwwwwwalker!!
8. OC runs off to Mexico with our fantasy money.
9. Omar does indeed snipe him.
10. Sam Young gets national recognition and will be drafted in the 1st round of the NFL Draft.
11. Our schedule turns out better than expected (8 or 9 of our opponents will be in bowls).
12. John Ryan makes a tackle.
13. With Gameday on campus, an eerie fall chill in the air, and the lights shining bright…We beat USC.

14. We lose the following week to Boston College.

15. Fat Albert gets hit by a nacho cheese-soaked, battery-filled marshmallow, and proceeds to eat said 'mallow.
16. Brady Quinn starts for the Browns and leads them to fewer victories than Clausen does the Irish (Browns: 7, Irish: 9)
17. Freshman sensation Manti Te’o forgoes his Mormon mission and converts to Catholicism. (In his press conference in front of the reflecting pond to announce the decision, he says no words but rather stands up and spreads his arms high above his shoulders in front of Touchdown Jesus. Somehow, we all know what he means.)

18. With ND down 17-14 at the half to Connecticut (!) and the marching band performing (very bad choice of words) a poorly synchronized dance to "Don't Cha Wish," a frustrated John Don makes yet another band-geek female fan cry.

19. Dayne Crist gets some mop-up duty and doesn’t deserve “the hype.” Yet.
20. ND goes to a BCS bowl, I don’t go, and it’s actually a good game this time.
21. Weis stays and people like it.

rabes